The irony of Planning

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We all love plans. We want to make plans for the future: for career or for marriage or even for the weekend. Our entire state of happiness and disappointment lies on how close we get to our initial plan. Some call it divine intervention or some call it Murphy’s law or some just call it poor planning but the reality always deviates from our plan. The funny part is though we all have plans we do not want to share our plans to anyone. We think that if we share our plans to people outside the plan, it will not work. We want to project to the outside world we are so impulsive and we ride the wave.

Well this blog is not a philosophical note on life or some serious take on planning. I am not walking that path of serious writing because of the obvious reason that I suck at writing anything matured. I just wanted to share some funny or ironical real life incidents when we were busy planning and God decided to play a joke by screwing up our plan. Here are some of the plan bloopers:

  1. People who planned to enjoy bachelor life without getting married, are slowly realizing that they are finding it more and more difficult to “enjoy bachelorhood” so eventually they give up. Finally their plan gives way to marriage and settling down.
  2. People who got expensive DSLR cameras with the plans of becoming the next photographer with a FB page, shooting candid HD photographs and blurred background macro shots, realize their plans are shattered when the only mode they use in their DSLR is creative auto.
  3. People who plan for traffic and start early to reach the airport on time will hit no traffic and reach so early unlike they planned. They get so bored and check in FB that they are at the airport travelling to some country outside India.
  4. We plan on having our own side of the bed in our bachelor pad, not willing to let go of our side of the bed not even to our better half. Then comes your kid, pees all over on your side of the bed and gives you a smile, throwing your plan of private space into the bin.
  5. You plan to impress everyone at the business presentation with the extra slides you added and get some brownie points. Only then all your slide gets moved to the appendix section making your plan ineffective.
  6. You plan to fill your passport pages, social media with wander lust hash tags and instagram filter photos, you either realize that it makes you bankrupt or backpacking or travelling on budget is not as sexy as it is seen on social media. So all plans and the extra pages in passport is not used anymore.
  7. With all fitness and marathon hype around, you plan on joining a gym, running marathons and doing yoga to keep you fit. Later you realize happiness is that extra hour of sleep or growing fat together and the plan of full marathon gets thrown in a corner along with the gym membership card.
  8. You plan to be the centre of a party, socializing and making sure you make heads turn with your dance moves. In the end, your plan doesn’t even take off when you are sloshed out in one corner even before the party starts and someone carries you home before others even knew you were there.
  9. Inspired by shows like friends or HIMYM, you plan to redefine getting old with friends for life. Your plans are no where close to reality when you realize meeting your friends once in a month is a task and when you meet all you talk about is loans repayment , gaining weight and which school your kid is in.
  10. Your plan of finding your life purpose, after MBA/MS with a new high paying job, falls flat when reality strikes. You realize life is same as before MBA/MS and you still feel like you are in the wrong profession

Whatever the plan bloopers are, I feel at the end God makes sure there is a happy ending. Life takes it own course so lets not get too worked about the details of it. We should not tie our happiness with plans. Lets plan and lets laugh at how our plans got screwed up for something better.

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12 lessons from 12 Angry Men

I recently saw this movie “12 Angry Men” and was cursing myself for not seeing it before. Sleep is a bitch it doesn’t come when you need it, especially when you have a 9AM class in the morning, you never get to sleep before 4AM. So I started this movie around 330AM in the morning thinking that I can fall asleep at least watching this black and white movie. At the end of it, time was 530AM and I was speechless. A single room, only 20 people were the total cast of the movie but WOW. The lessons to learn from this are a dozen which I have listed down.

Angry Men
Lessons from them!

Spoiler Alert. If you want the lessons read the headings alone, if you want the examples of where all the lessons can come into play read the description as well!

1. What seems obvious need not be true/correct

You realize this rule the moment you mark the first option as an answer for a multiple choice question thinking that it is the obvious answer but it is never the correct answer. 😛

2. Believe in your instincts.

Sometimes, you mark an answer instinctively but then you go back to it do a lot of thinking over it, use your “Brain” and then change it just to get it wrong. So always go with your instincts.

3. Stand up for what you believe.

If you believe in something please stand up for it but not when you are too drunk!

4. Don’t let your prejudice influence your decisions.

If you don’t like a subject fine but do read for the subject before exam. Your decision of not reading because of your prejudice against the subject will result in heavy prayers just before the results.

5. Pay attention to details.

Check the minute details in the bill at a restaurant after you eat. Always there is this one plate of extra chicken tikka or one extra beer which you never had in the bill.

6. Accept the facts even if they are against your beliefs.

You may strongly believe that you can write an entire report for the assignment on your own. But accept the fact and don’t waste time use GOOGLE.

7. Nothing wrong in changing your decision than hanging on to a bad one.

You see your neighbor’s answer paper and the answer is different from yours then please go ahead and change it. Don’t stick on to yours!

8. Give others a chance to explain their stand.

Your friend would have made the biggest mistake of not inviting you for a beer party or of not sharing the question paper with you on the previous night of an exam but give him a chance to explain before bashing him up.

9. Take a risk, it pays off.

Bunk a class sometimes though you hear rumours of in class evaluation, you may have missed the most boring lecture which had no in class evaluation but you would have had the best 2 hours of sleep!

10. Getting angry doesn’t help

If you are caught copying in an exam, plead don’t get angry!

11. Have concern for others.

If all are planning for mass bunk co-operate with everyone and make it happen. You may not gain anything but a little concern for others will help!

12. Have Hope.

Have hope that you will get a job that you like!

P.S: Here goes my usual Post Script notes, the blog in no means tries to make fun of the movie 12 Angry Men. I really enjoyed watching it and it is truly one of the classics of all time. If you had not seen it I strongly recommend you to watch it.
P.P.S: However, the lessons above will hold true in all cases but the experiences may not. Strict advisory and parental control is suggested if you are trying out the experience. If you had read only the headings scroll up and read the descriptions ,then come back to the PPS.

2011 Rewind!!

Well yet another year comes to an end. It has been a great year. Lot of happenings, lot of things to ponder upon, lot of memories and yet again none of the resolutions for 2011 has been kept up. I don’t want to put up a huge lengthy paragraph of what I did and I what I did not or What I could have done and what I shouldn’t have done because I am not Steve Jobs or Chetan Bhagat so that people will be interested in reading about that.

This blog is mostly like a mental note to me, to save the memories. So I am putting it in form of clouds, the bigger the size the more impact it had on me. So here it goes just before boarding my flight to Chennai for New Years!

Cloud
Cloud

Bring it on 2012!!! 🙂

The Grass on the other side!!

Thanks to the late night walk with my friends after we were drunk last week, that walk brought in wonderful memories back and the idea for this blog!

I was thinking about the blog just before my Operations exam so please excuse the poor humor content and sleepy writing style. I will sure try to Max. (Humor) using Linear Programming Model next time when I master it! Also, giving an exam that too the so-called semester exams after 3 yrs break in your life is kinda weird. Read the post by replacing I with we. Both are replaceable!

When I was a kid I used to feel so bad when my mom used to take a half ticket for me. I wanted to grow up faster at least to be a full ticket, faster so that some random stranger on phone doesn’t think you are woman speaking to him. ( He goes like, “Hello madam, can I blah blah”. It is even more embarrassing to tell am not a Madam. So I should try to keep up the girly voice consciously or is it unconsciously!) . I wonder whether it is just me or everyone felt the same when we were kids. I had no homework to worry about but still I wanted to grow so that I can get to eat chewing gum and ride a bicycle to school. So the greener grass was being a full ticket from a half ticket.

Then you had all the options to have fun being in school. Be it the first love, street cricket, hide and seek with the apartment kids in the night (fuck, that was fun we used to exchange shirts to screw the guy who has to seek!), the one rupee Pepsi cola, the cricket cards of Big fun, the WWE trump cards (the concept of clash was a killer), the toss for cricket matches with a small stone (in-a out-a :D), the Rs.10 rubber ball, 5Rs. plastic balls and the 30Rs. tennis balls, kalla-a manna-a anchu nimisam wait (for all non tamil friends that’s a game we play translated into stone-a or sand-a 5 mins wait!), the happiness when the school shuts down for rains and of course the strange caller doesn’t think you are a female anymore. But still I wanted to grow up faster and get out of school for the main reason of exams. Somehow I was made to believe that we just need to work hard till 12th exams after that it is gonna be a cake walk. Believe me I am still searching for that cake to walk! The greener grass was college life!!

After being in college, you have all the fun right from acting cool by taking just a single note-book to the class or for the entire semester, bunking classes and not having to give a leave letter, first breakup and acting the Romeo of the college like Madhavan of Alaipayuthey (Non tamil guys, Oberoi of Saathiya!), getting introduced to a new world called Alcohol, boozing and kupara paduthing (lying flat on your belly) and most importantly the freedom of not wearing uniforms anymore.  Still with all this, I wanted the farther green grass, able to work and be on my own with my money.

Time came where I was all on my own having a job in a hot place (not the weather ;)) and a not so shabby income to spend. Another breakup and fall in love again, having all the fun of pubbing, having able to spend weekends doing nothing, no exams or no classes to feel guilty about, no worry of asking your parents for pocket-money and of course you need not ask your parent’s permission for going anywhere or staying out the whole night! Drink, Roam, blog and Update FB statuses. You start missing the college days, exam tensions and late night aratai sessions! The closest you get to an exam in your work life is an appraisal meeting because both the places you don’t know what is going on and the outcome is not going to change!  I again felt the other side was greener and the rosy picture this time was post graduation. Blame it on the wotha wommalley friends studying in IIM’s or so for their status updates and photo updates made the picture more rosier!

After doing all the pain and taking all the shit of mock exams you end up in some B school. Yeah that’s the rule do some engineering then work then get bored with work and then do MBA, I don’t know why but that is the way it works! Then it all becomes assignments, projects, case studies, FCQ’s, tests and 3 hours of sleep! The condition worsens when you think of the past the glorious days of boozing and throwing out in some pubs to your current status of checking the price before ordering, buffet brunches to the monotonic mess menu and of course the GenZ crowd to add the icing on the cake. Breakup yet again and none else to fall in love with apart from the profs who lets you get a proxy. Pheww Grass is never green so just smoke it and feel good!

P.S: The break ups and make ups are general cases 😉

10 things you will learn in 10 days in a B School

All examples and incidents are purely non fictional. I didn't learn many or all the lessons so just a virtual note to help others. People who can laugh with little initiative are advised to read further others go back to the first line!

Lesson:1: Read the chapter before attending the lectures.

First class in marketing,

Professor: How many have prepared for the lecture?

No hands raised.

Professor: Any specific reasons for the same?

Student from last bench: We are not mentally prepared yet Sir.

Professor: Ohhh How nice, call me to take class when you are prepared and he walks out.

Definitely male!

Welcome to Post Graduation. You have to read before the lectures and of course after the lectures. Not having text books doesn’t seem to be a good excuse.

Lesson:2:Learn Antakshari or have beer!

Highly skewed Male-Female Ratio  leads to appreciation of games like Antakshari.  Antakshari for ice breaking. For all others like me, Hail Beer!

Lesson:3: Don’t get the I-lose-the-objective syndrome.

It doesn’t matter people understand things or good at things, everyone will want to do everything. Sometimes the euphoria of being in a B School will cause you the I-lose-the-objective syndrome. So they eventually forget it’s not going to be good just because you laid your hands. It’s not what you do in a group matters, it’s what the group does as a whole matters. So lay your hands wisely else learn so that next time you can lay.

Lesson:4: Get familiarized with words like Punctuality, formal dresses and library.

You do not want to look like a fool entering a library for the first time in your life. Neither you want to be locked outside the class on the very first day. So get used to being on time, new to formal dress didn’t work for coming to class late! (grrr..am still learning to tie a tie!)

Lesson: 5: Assignments mean “You cannot ask for an extra day to complete”

Incase you are not a fan of doing “more work” or sweetly called as “Penalty assignments”, then take your assignments seriously, I mean copy or borrow but complete it. You have to submit assignments in B Schools. (I know, how stupid!)

Lesson: 6: Learn to master the art of fake laughter.

Everyone does that. Ofcourse you are not the funniest guy on earth. So others do the favour of laughing (faking) so you do the favour back and don’t be a dud! For all Duds reading this post, master the art and come back to read it again!

Lesson: 7: Learn the meaning of Networking.

Its like when you joined Kinder Garden your mom told  you: don cry beta in class. eat the biscuits from dabba and ask the teacher for susu. Same way when people enter B schools they will be told, speak with everyone you find. Maintain a rapport with everyone including the laundry wala. People keep sending and getting friend requests once they get admitted in a B school and they call it Networking. Don’t get shocked or too happy with your growing FB friends list. Your batch mates friend’s list also grew and most of them who added you doesn’t know you and you don’t look as good as you look in your FB display pic so they can’t recognise you! So adding in FB or talking with laundry wala is not networking.

Lesson:8: 5 hours of sleep is Luxury!

If you feel you don’t get enough of sleep while working or doing your UG then take back your words. Develop sense of affection towards your alarm clock.

After all you curse it if it wakes you up on time and you curse it if it doesn’t wake you up on time. (Read this somewhere so just quoting it. Don’t start like Yeah I have read this line somewhere already!)

Lesson: 9: Learn to get Bday bumps!

Incase your birthday falls in second or third week of joining college curse yourself. Everyone around will want to vent their anger on Professors, late night studies and penalty assignments on your ass. (Literally!)

Lesson:10: Learn to ask sensible questions!

Please ask questions to make the class interactive will be the most clichéd and preferred statement of every lecturer. You can be lured into asking lot of questions which is brilliant in its own way but can land you up in getting more assignments.

(dozing off thinking about my next Chennai visit……snoreeee)